Growing Faith In Parenthood
A consistent father figure wasn’t present in my life. I had a hard-working single mom, two amazing siblings, and a few close friends I called family. When I first got saved, the truth of God, the father, felt foreign. God the conqueror, healer, and miracle maker made more sense. They aligned with concepts I resolved, like overcoming hardships and mending broken pieces. But God the father? How can I make introspective references to characteristics or a persona I’ve never experienced? Not having an answer was a challenge because the characteristics of God as a father are vital to developing trust and faith. To find balance, I trusted the promises declared over me through faith in Him. Forward years later to a new season- a single mom in Los Angeles.
At the time, my daughter was seven going on fifty with negotiating skills that could convince a baby to give up a pacifier. She’s a pro at talking you down from a no to a yes. I noticed these little personality surprises about my daughter during a season I intentionally dedicated to get to know her. When I realized work, side hustles, personal goals, and humdrum routines were chipping away at our time together, I had to prioritize bonding. I hated being unable to talk about her day and what she did at school. Sometimes work made its way home, and doing homework took longer than expected, leading to fast-approaching bedtimes, and before you know it, you’re hitting snooze the next day. The change was necessary.
I intentionally customized an evening routine that gave us extra bonding time. It was (is) amazing. In the evening, between 6:30 - 7:45, we played games, colored, watched reruns of My Little Pony while snuggling, and colored. Overnight I, a former non-snuggler, am now the snuggle whisperer, thanks to my daughter's consistent protest that snuggling is the law. I’ve learned that she has high empathy and cares deeply for people. She loves art because it’s her happy place, and she reads Captain Under Pants because it makes her laugh out loud. I know that these will change as she grows. I pray that I continue intentionally building our relationship to notice the changes.
“As her mom, thinking about her protection and safety comes naturally, like breathing. ”
a season I intentionally dedicated to get to know her.
Understanding and knowing her for who she is, makes me happy. I relish witnessing the freedom she expresses in her personality, which as a parent, further deepens my love for her. As I allowed the swirling feelings of appreciation to settle in this season, it was at that moment of realization I felt my impressions of God whispering, “...and that’s how I feel about you”. It clicked, and finally, I understood.
I can’t imagine not wanting to provide for my daughter. I can’t imagine not wanting the best for her. When she’s sick or unhappy and wants to snuggle, I can’t imagine not wanting to say yes. As her mom, thinking about her protection and safety comes naturally, like breathing. When aligning that perspective with what I’ve read about God, It was clear what God the father meant. He’s not just a conqueror, demon buster, or stronghold breaker. He’s also a caring and loving dad figure who understands parenting and loving a child. A dad figure who delights in who I am and relishes how I’m uniquely and wonderfully made.