Carried

If you ask me about my divorce, I’d tell you it is similar to walking through a dark forest — tall looming trees surrounded by thick fog; a sky blanketed in black with moonlight touching the ground. Cold. Quiet. Alone.

The Fears were paralyzing during this period of my life. I remember thinking; I will never leave this forest—this place of uncertainty where what "was" and "what may come" coexisted. I remember wanting to give up on everything — trying, redefining success, obtaining new goals, and loving again. My reality: what I learned in marriage about marriage, God, and my identity was unhealthy. Despair and a lack of faith soon followed.

In this place of uncertainty, as my emotions ebbed and flowed, friends continued to text, call, and invite me out. I had a friend in Chicago who periodically FaceTime me for prayer—another friend in NYC who sometimes texted me a slew of bible verses for encouragement. A friend in LA agreed to a re-occurring meeting at Yogurt Land every Wednesday afternoon to talk. Each friend meet-up engagement weaved a motif: “you are important, you matter, and you are loved." At one point during the finality of the divorce, I realized how important it was to know this theme. It was essential to know because it showed me that someone else saw me and how  I needed to be seen to heal and grow.  The hope of my friends and their faith in me reminded me that God sees me this way. I am not a subpar human being or a failure. That knowledge was enough to find a glimmer of light to guide me through the uncertainty. 

Sometimes we lose faith in ourselves. But your community of friends will encircle you in your dark moments to remind you of your light. My friends watched me fall and cry and ultimately watched me rise. Their encouraging words, loving reminders of hope, and their faith in me led me out of that forest. Out of the forest into a warm, calm, welcoming place filled with love. I'd imagine this place be scenic renderings of where Pocahontas sang ‘Colors Of The Wind.’  I promise you that's the closest visual metaphor to relate.

your community of friends

…will encircle you in your dark moments to remind you of your light.

I thank God for my family of friends who stood by me. A healthy community for which I am more than grateful.

Luke 5:17-21

17One day Jesus was teaching, and the Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there. People had come from Jerusalem and from every village of Galilee and Judea, and the power of the Lord was present for Him to heal the sick.

18Just then, some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat. They tried to bring him inside to set him before Jesus, 19but they could not find a way through the crowd. So they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.

20When Jesus saw their faith, He said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”