Finding Joy In The Free Fall

Have you ever had a day where every good intention you had was met with some resistance or challenge, like writing out a list of activities to accomplish for the day, only to complete everything else that is not on your to-do list because Murphy’s Law exploded before your second cup of coffee? 

A year ago, I’d blamed lack of time management and preparation as culprits for the resistance and challenges. But these days, I blame constant change. I was naive and didn’t fully understand that being human in the working world means managing constant change, even if a to-do list is laid out well. But even in those moments when your schedule is outlined by the minute in advance, the reality is that life happens even to the most well-laid plans.

Today was one of those days that if everything went off track, it did. It felt like the bottom was secretly pulled from underneath me, and throughout the day, I was endlessly free-falling,   trying to find my grip and balance.  I had to emotionally manage a co-worker still learning to be collaborative in their baby boomer way, had to move my to-do list around to accommodate an emergency, and this morning I had to manage my daughter’s frustrations with me for reminding her to stay focused after she tried to paint during our morning routine. Literally, she took out a whole set of acrylic paint and wanted to paint a picture. Meanwhile, I’m scurrying around in our studio, trying g to leave on time.

It was an emotional whirlwind for me. As an empath, I felt all the feelings. I was feeling overwhelmed, not accomplished, and battered by the day by noon. But my eureka moment: I am learning to be grateful for the feels. I am learning that ubiquitous days ( when everything does not go as planned) help me grow. I am thankful that as much as I’d like to experience more of the ups in life, the downs also add sparkle to living g and can also be appreciated. I aim to believe this as I write because I think there is beauty in unplanned and the free fall. It just takes time to adapt to liking. I’m willing, however. I’m willing to try to like it all.